Trump’s $1,000 Offer: Why Is He Paying Undocumented Immigrants to Exit the U.S.?
You know, sometimes you read a headline and have to pause—just to make sure you didn’t accidentally eat an edible or fall headfirst into an episode of Black Mirror . Well, here’s a doozy: Trump’s administration is proposing to pay undocumented immigrants a cool $1,000 to leave the country voluntarily. Wait, hold on—am I being punk’d? Is Ashton Kutcher going to jump out and shout “Gotcha!” or is this just America’s newest reality show? Toss in some frequent flyer miles and a “Thanks for Playing!” voucher and it almost sounds like the cruelest game show on earth.
I gotta ask—what’s the catch? Blink twice if you’re also wondering whether this scheme comes with an IOU scrawled on a casino napkin. On top of it all, this push comes as the administration keeps ramping up mass deportations, but is a cash bonus really the golden ticket, or just another sleight of hand? On the one hand, it’s $1,000—the sort of sum that sounds generous until you realize it comes from the federal government’s bargain bin. On the other, is the dollar about to be worth less than Monopoly money? Big questions, even bigger punchlines. Take a deep breath, because this story goes places you just can’t make up… unless you write for The Onion. LEARN MORE.
President Donald Trump’s administration said that it is going to pay immigrants who are in the United States illegally and return to their home country voluntarily $1,000 as it pushes forward with its mass deportation agenda. What do you think?
“I’d rather get that in a more stable currency, if possible.”
Calvin Sutton, Boat Namer
“When Donald Trump promises to pay you, you know he’s telling the truth.”
Tyler Tsang, Lid Twister
“Ah, the ol’ Reverse Melania.”
Agnes Pierson, Kerchief Knotter
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