Trump’s Surprising ‘Les Misérables’ Reference Sparks Drama During White House Boycott

If you’ve ever wondered what might happen if American politics collided—face-first—with the razzle-dazzle chaos of musical theater, well, grab your popcorn (and possibly earplugs) . Picture this: the Cabinet, torn from their day jobs and pressed into sequined service, scrambling through a DIY version of Les Misérables at the Kennedy Center, while President Trump, equal parts frazzled director and Broadway dreamer, desperately tries to coax chest voice out of Marco Rubio and keep Attorney General Bondi in tune (good luck, Pam!) . Is this the revolution Victor Hugo imagined, or just another day in our nation’s capital—minus Patti LuPone, plus a whole lot of confused bicorne hats? In a world where politics and spectacle are nearly indistinguishable, this satirical spectacle practically begs the question: who cast these folks and, more importantly, can they even dance? For all the comedy, chaos—and a little tragedy—behind this fantastical, Cabinet-starring production, LEARN MORE.

WASHINGTON—Sitting in the front row and snapping his fingers in time to the 1980 musical’s overture, President Donald Trump rehearsed his Cabinet for a Kennedy Center performance of Les Misérables amid an escalating boycott by the show’s usual cast, sources reported Friday. “Marco, I want you in there as Jean Valjean, and give us your full energy on ‘Look Down’—remember, chest voice, not head voice! You’re a prisoner, for goodness sake, not Patti LuPone,” said the visibly anxious president, who, after glancing at a list of Broadway actors who had departed from the production out of protest, turned to JD and Usha Vance, telling the vice president and second lady to don bicorne hats, scarves, and aprons for the roles of Madame and Monsieur Thénardier. “Relax, JD! ‘Master Of The House’ doesn’t need you to hit any high notes. Just keep up that bawdy energy of yours, and you’ll win over the audience. Now, places people! We’re going to nail the choreography on the barricade sequence if it kills me.” At press time, Trump was overheard ordering a weeping Attorney General Pam Bondi to take ‘I Dreamed A Dream’ from the top and to please stay in tune this time.