“Trump’s Unlikely Musical Triumph: How a Glockenspiel Became the Star of His Rally After Artists Banned Their Hits”
At a recent rally in Walker, MI, it seems the spirit of improvisation took a rather unexpected turn as Donald Trump found himself jamming on a glockenspiel—yes, you read that right—after every single musical artist scrapped their permission for him to use their songs. Talk about taking the “no music for you” rule to an entirely new level! Picture this: a determined Trump, initially relying on sheet music, quickly morphs into a soloist hammering out a concoction of public domain classics like “Alexander’s Ragtime Band” and “Take Me Out To The Ball Game.” How did we get here, you ask? Well, this rather unusual performance drew a mix of bemusement and admiration from attendees. One fan even claimed that while he had never been a jazz enthusiast, Trump’s enthusiastic yet repetitive glockenspiel riffs were oddly captivating. And as if the spectacle couldn’t get more bizarre, the estate of Irving Berlin was reportedly gearing up for a lawsuit thanks to Trump’s rendition of “God Bless America.” What’s next, a glockenspiel showdown with the likes of Kamala Harris? This rally truly had it all! LEARN MORE
WALKER, MI—Plunking out a solo as the performance entered its 45th minute, Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump was reportedly forced to play the glockenspiel at a rally Friday after every musical artist in the country banned him from using their songs. “He started out with some sheet music, but within minutes he was just hammering away at the same few notes over and over,†rally-goer Ray Garza said as Trump regaled the crowd with a medley of public domain material including “Alexander’s Ragtime Band†and “Take Me Out To The Ball Game.†“I’ve heard at other rallies he’ll go for hours at a time. At first I was kinda unsure, but he just has so much confidence. While I never really liked jazz before, he can improv on those keys, and it just keeps me hooked. I’m not sure if he really invented the glockenspiel, like he claimed, but he’s the best I’ve ever heard, and he says all of Kamala Harris’ glockenspiel performances are fake.†At press time, the estate of Irving Berlin was suing the former president for his glockenspiel rendition of “God Bless America.â€
The post Trump Forced To Play Glockenspiel At Rally After Every Artist Bars Use Of Songs appeared first on The Onion.
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