“Unbelievable: 66 Outrageous Student Excuses That Sound Too Wild to Be True!”
When I was collecting homework, one of my 2nd graders pointed to his forehead and told me, “I don’t have it because I got bruised.” It looked like a normal f*****g forehead. And I also don’t understand the connection between those 2 things. So I just chalked it up to a weak excuse and moved on.
A week later that student’s dad came in for a parent teacher conference. During our conversation the dad says “Well he told you how he quit breathing and we called 911 the other day, right? It really freaked us out.” And I go “no….” the dad proceeds to tell me that he took his son’s video games away as a punishment, and in a fit of rage, the child dove headfirst into a wall and KNOCKED HIMSELF UNCONSCIOUS.
A little more than a “bruise”.
I could not quit laughing. Im picturing a 7 year old shrieking like a banshee, barreling across the floor, and taking flight with his hands at his side, convinced he’s gonna take the house down with him. It was bringing tears to my eyes. And how horribly the kid downplayed what had happened was just outrageous. Thankfully the dad had a good sense of humor and laughed with me too.
Had to tell two teachers (was a joint essay for AP Literature & American History classes) that the crazed ex-girlfriend of my mom’s boyfriend set fire to our house. Didn’t burn all the way down (she threw an incendiary through the window which landed on a waterbed, the fire put itself out once it had burned through the blankets), but heat and smoke damage pretty much destroyed everything on the inside.
The next morning I walk up to the lit teacher and say “I don’t have my homework, but I’ve got a _really_ good excuse”. She was notorious for not accepting excuses, but was very good-natured otherwise, so she laughed and asked to hear it. No problem, got a pass on that one.
Obligatory not a teacher but I have a good one. I once emailed a professor that I needed an extension on a midterm because my house burned down.
Parent here and a multi-user account
My son didn’t go to school for the death of my brother, who in the town was honored and remembered as a hero.
“Sorry I’m late, I was stuck in the WC because the handle broke”.
Was a student, but I remember there was a girl in my JROTC program in HS. On uniform day she only came with her pants and shoes and the Major was absolutely pissed because that’s like not even half her uniform.
Turns out she had been shot in the shoulder, her wound wasn’t too bad but she had a hole in her jacket and shirt and there was blood. Major couldn’t believe his own eyes but she was given a new shirt and jacket and her marks that day were excused.
Evidently she lived in a not-great part of our city that already has gun violence issues.
Not a teacher, but one time a student showed up with very red eyes. Everyone thought he was high on weed, but he had allergies. The teacher informed us he gets allergies around certain time of the year.
Edit:typo.
I’m a 6th grade FACS teacher teaching distance learning. I had a student and parent email me that their dog ate their sewing project (it was a stuffed felt monster). Never would I have thought I’d get a “my dog ate my homework” excuse but it happened!
Their whole family back home had Covid. 🙁 Like, all of them.
My girlfriend’s sister asked to have her final moved so she could be there at girlfriend’s graduation. They’re twins and went to schools at opposite ends of the country.
To this day neither of them can believe “Can I take my final on a different day? I’m going to California to be there for my twin sister’s graduation” actually worked.
I had a student tell me that he was arrested for shoplifting. He missed his assignment deadline. He even showed me the paperwork from the BPD. I gave him a generous extension of two weeks, since his life was in disarray and I could tell that he was already sorry for his actions.
Not a teacher, but one of my classmates during my high school years heard they noticed something going on at the parking lot. They were asking who was the owner of the car that was being looked at. We sat next to the windows, which had a near view of the parking lot. I took a peak for a moment. If it was a fire truck, that was going to be a drill time. I often had issues with that certain loud noises likely due to the pitch to the point, I ended up getting an order to have either a pair of earplugs or headphones on standby. Yet, there was no sign of the truck, apart from a few pick-up trucks that belong to folks in the school. Finally, they alerted the teacher, so was in the middle of explaining an upcoming exam. Just as the teacher was about to tell the classmate to pipe down, a blast of nosie got into the air. The teacher looked at yelled at the two men to beat it, or the cops were going to get called. The two would-be thieves fleed the area, while the teacher disabled and reenabled the car alarm with a remote.
The teacher went back to work as if nothing happened.
