The next one was his mom. Wonder if he felt bad about it or even remembered that he said that. I should ask him when I see him at a funeral in two weeks.

#43

My BIL died and his side were very evangelical. They started waving their arms in the air and singing and responding “amen” to every line the preacher said. It was awkward and embarrassing.

#44

At Glenn’s funeral the priest said reluctantly, “And now we will recite the Lord’s Prayer…with edits by Glenn.”

There was also a prerecorded message from Glenn.

#45

My X wife’s family were the faith-healing type and some of them were convinced they were going to pray the recently deceased up out of the casket. People throwing themselves on the ground, weeping, having to be removed, slowly realizing he wasn’t going to wake up and actively experiencing the finality of death in real time. It was awful.

#46

Not me, but my father. When he was 16, his best friend drowned. The canoe they were in tipped over when one guy they invited decided to goof off and stand up. My father’s friend couldn’t swim and ended up drowning about 15 feet from the shore.

At the funeral, the jerk that stood up in the boat showed up. The first thing he did was approach the mother, father and sister of the deceased friend and ask them if he could have his vinyl collection.

#47

At my grandma’s funeral they had a new pastor who hadn’t really known her at all. A day or two before he had asked my dad what sort of things she liked, and my dad (who was obviously dealing with a lot at the time) had just said something about how she liked bird watching and had enjoyed a trip to the mountains once.

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