“Unexpected Milestone: Cousin’s Husband Shocks Family with First Words—What Did He Say?”

In a world where communication can sometimes feel as elusive as a sock in the dryer, one man’s monumental verbal breakthrough has left an entire family floored—literally and metaphorically! Mark Peterbaum, husband to a local woman’s cousin, recently uttered his first word during a family holiday gathering, much to the stunned delight of his relatives. After two years of mostly silent observations at the dinner table, he surprised everyone by exclaiming “yummy” while diving into what must have been a spectacular meal. Talk about a comeback! Just imagine the relief and joy rippling through the family; it’s like watching a slow-blooming flower finally reveal its petals, except the flower really wanted to eat that casserole. With hopes high that Mark might soon string together full sentences, the family is buzzing—especially Grandma, who’s been playing her own version of “Where’s Waldo?” in this communication saga. Want to know what happened next? Click below! <a href="https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/CousinsHusbandNIB_IHA-GR-copy.jpg”>LEARN MORE.

NORFOLK, VA—In what is being hailed as a huge milestone in the development of the man’s verbal skills, sources confirmed Tuesday that Mark Peterbaum, the husband of a local woman’s cousin, said his first word during a visit with extended family over the holidays. “As far as any of us could tell, Mark didn’t know how to talk, so it was quite a surprise when he suddenly said ‘yummy’ at dinner,” Tabitha Roth told reporters, adding that it had been more than two years since Peterbaum had married her cousin Hannah, and the family was starting to worry he might have communication issues resulting from a serious impairment of some kind. “My mom claims she has had heard him babble unintelligibly from time to time, but this was definitely the first time we heard a clear and comprehensible word out of Mark. With any luck, he should start putting together full sentences soon. Really, though, I’m just happy Grandma is still around to witness this.” At press time, sources reported that Peterbaum had spoken his second word after accidentally knocking over a bottle of wine and shouting “Fuck!”