“Unexpected Twist at Gender Reveal Party Sparks Chaos and Confusion Among Guests!”
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Gender disappointment (GD) is a term used to describe the “grief” some parents feel when they learn the biological sex of their baby
There’s a difference between gender and sex. Parents.com explains it like this: “Gender is a personal identity that exists on a spectrum, can change over the course of a person’s lifetime, and—most importantly—is something that a person defines for themselves. Sex, on the other hand, is assigned at birth based on the appearance of a baby’s genitalia. While sex assigned at birth often matches a person’s gender (called cisgender), sometimes it does not.”
Dr. Lindsay McMillan is a clinical psychologist who specializes in gender disappointment. McMillan describes it as “a parenthood experience which involves holding a preference for having a daughter or a son and experiencing emotional distress when baby’s sex does not match.” She adds that there can often be “a sense of grief” that accompanies gender disappointment.
Author and psychotherapist Anna Mathur experienced gender disappointment during her first and second pregnancies. She says gender disappointment can cause feelings of guilt and shame. But adds that parents should realize these feelings are valid, and deserve to be explored regardless of how long they are experienced for.
“It’s normal to have a gender preference. It’s the silence and the taboo that balloon it into a guilty secret,” said Mathur. “We all have our stories, histories and reasons, and some of them just take a little more making sense of than others.”