“William Donaldson, who died on June 22 aged 70, was described by Kenneth Tynan as ‘an old Wykehamist who ended up as a moderately successful Chelsea pimp’, which was true,
though he was also a failed theatrical impresario, a crack-smoking serial adulterer and a writer of autobiographical novels; but it was under the nom de plume Henry Root that he became best known.”
Selma Koch, Famed Brassiere Maven
“Selma Koch, a Manhattan store owner who earned a national reputation by helping women find the right bra size, mostly through a discerning glance and never with a tape measure, died Thursday at Mount Sinai Medical Center. She was 95 and a 34B.”
Thank you for your service, Ms. Koch.
His Children Will Grow Up To Avenge Their Father’s Untimely Death
“Purmort, Aaron Joseph age 35, died peacefully at home on November 25 after complications from a radioactive spider bite that led to years of crime-fighting and a years long battle with a nefarious criminal named Cancer, who has plagued our society for far too long.
Civilians will recognize him best as Spider-Man, and thank him for his many years of service protecting our city.”
He Holds A Grudge, Even In The Afterlife
“He has a passion for cars, motorcycles and entertaining family and friends, hunting, fishing, and remodeling. His motto: ‘Accomplish what you can because tomorrow ain’t promised.’
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