Unlock the Secret: 101 Hilarious Replies to “How Are You?” That Will Transform Every Conversation
45. Functioning at minimum capacity.
46. Good, terrible, pick one.
47. Enthusiastic as a Monday morning.
48. Like a cat burying a poop on a frozen lake.
49. If I were any finer, I’d be China.
50. That’s between me and my therapist.
51. If I were a bird, I’d fly into a ceiling fan.
52. Great, my name wasn’t in today’s obituaries.
53. Avoiding questions, and you?
54. Regrettably sober.
55. The doctor said it’s not good news.
Absurd or Meme-Inspired Quips
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This category is a bit niche, but many people will appreciate these humorous quips and recognize them from TikTok or other social media sites. Sarcasm isn’t the only way to make a niche joke; you can also reference pop culture and enjoy a more surreal type of humor.
56. Currently under renovation.
57. Life is soup, I am a fork.
58. Alive, alert, awake, enthusiastic. (Bonus if you sing it!)
59. Like a spider in a bathtub.
60. All the voices are my own today, so not too bad.
61. Just as the prophecy foretold.
62. The horrors persist, but so do I.
63. My lawyer has advised me not to answer that question.
64. Dying a little more every day.
65. I hereby acknowledge your attempt at social interaction.
Famous Responses From TV and Movies
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Pop culture comes to the rescue again with these very specific ways to respond when someone asks after you. They channel popular characters and famous lines, keeping the conversation entertaining and also giving you something else to talk about if the other person understands your reference.
66. I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious. (The Office)
67. I’m doing well. I like the smell of bacon in the morning. (Parks and Recreation)
68. Maximum effort! (Deadpool)
69. I’m in no condition to drive. I shouldn’t be standing either. (The Simpsons)
70. I’m hopeless and awkward and desperate for love. (Friends)
71. I’m kind of a big deal. (Anchorman)
72. Why so serious? (The Dark Knight)
73. I just have a lot of feelings. (Mean Girls)
Sassy Ways to Respond
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You might be that one sassy friend, or perhaps you’re trying to come out of your shell. Either way, these sassy responses are full of attitude and some mischievous but lighthearted humor. Pull them out when a simple “fine” doesn’t make you feel fabulous.
74. I was fine until you asked.
75. Better at minding my own business than you are.
76. Fresh out of jail, what do you think?
77. I’m in quiet mode today.
78. Surviving on looks, luck, and lattes.
79. Like fine wine… cheap, but I get the job done.
80. On my worst behavior, as always.
81. I’m an agent of chaos.
82. If I were any better, there would be two of me.
83. Don’t you have the answer to everything?
84. Not good, but I’ll lie at the press conference.
85. Too glam to give a damn.
Inside Humor for Close Friends
Image credits: Pinterest
Why remain on topic at all? The best way to spice up a boring greeting question is to rely on shared jokes with friends who get your sense of humor. This adds an extra layer of intimacy and understanding to the conversation, meaning you’ll actually enjoy it!
86. Still breathing, if you can believe it.
87. I’d say I’m crushing it to my usual standards.
88. No new complaints.
89. Regrettably trapped in this human body.
90. Another day, another slay.
91. Finer than a frog’s hair.
92. Well, the doctor said he didn’t think it was contagious…
Appropriate Jests for Family
Image credits: r/memes
Sometimes, family-friendly puns and quips are the best. This category keeps the responses witty but also warm and relatable. You can even add an extra personal touch when checking in with your relatives to make them smile, or even just roll their eyes fondly.
93. Better than the Wi-Fi.
94. Still searching for the meaning of life.
95. All fine so far, but there’s still time for everything to go horribly wrong.
96. I have no way of knowing.
97. My situation is chronic, but I remain iconic.
98. Killing time until my next nap.
99. I’m in my self-improvement era.
100. Just my typical charming self.
101. Currently functioning at 5% battery. Send help.
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