“Unlock the Secrets: 7 Surprising Ways You Can Transform Life for New Parents!”
Adjusting to life with a newborn is like juggling flaming torches while riding a unicycle—exhilarating but fraught with just a hint of danger. In the chaotic realm of new parenthood, everything changes (including your sleep schedule, social life, and probably your sanity). So how can you, as a well-meaning friend, step in and support those brave souls navigating this new chapter? Well, leave it to The Onion to sprinkle a bit of tongue-in-cheek humor into the mix! From dropping off food that’ll remind them of “the good old days” to offering them a bewildering sense of normalcy by pretending their baby doesn’t exist, this guide is packed with not-so-typical yet hilariously relatable tips. Get ready to chuckle as you dive into the bizarre, yet strangely comforting world of new parent support. After all, laughter might be the only thing that gets them through those sleepless nights! LEARN MORE.Adjusting to life with a newborn is a formidable task. The Onion presents tips for supporting the new parents in your social circle.
Drop off a meal from their favorite restaurant to remind them of their former life that’s now lost forever.
Stress that Cocomelon only has as much power as they give it.
Get mom a thoughtful gift basket full of her favorite kind of marbles, kitchen knives, and Tide pods.
Having a newborn can be disorienting and overwhelming—shooting them a simple text stating the current date, time, and president can go a long way.
Offer them a bit of normalcy by refusing to acknowledge their newborn and acting confused whenever they bring it up.
Swap their baby with the sultan’s, that he may know the sweetness of palace life.
Let them practice changing diapers on you.
Make a list of all the most baby-friendly episodes of Slow Horses.
Reaffirm their identity outside of being a parent by holding them to the same sales quota as everyone else.
Tell them they weren’t going to be invited on your group trip to Sardinia anyway.
