“Unlock the Secrets: 71 Profound Lessons from Therapists That Transformed Lives Forever”
That child that was never loved or acknowledged is still waiting, not on your parents but on you. You are her parent now. Will you ignore her, not love her, not value her, and not find her worthy as well? You decide if she thrives or survives. Your parents let her down. Will you do the same?
“When you stop making yourself small, some people will no longer fit in your life.”
Therapist: “If you were my client while you were a minor i would have absolutely called child services.”
Me: “What? Why? They weren’t perfect, but it’s not like they were abusing me.”
Therapist (after a brief pause): “Not all abuse leaves bruises that others can see.”
Not my therapist, but my psychiatrist: “There’s nothing I can prescribe you to make your job not suck.”
Also: “I got my first 1-star review recently, and I thought of you.”
The path the nerves laid out for the original pain are well worn highways now. The most minor stimulation in the area will send a small message down this huge highway and make you think it hurts more than it does.
You can train your brain to realize this is happening and practice your mind into believing the pain isn’t as bad as it is, because it really isn’t.
“Have you ever considered maybe you’re not very good at your job?” She was right. Found a new career.
They challenged me to answer why I kept getting into relationships with people who are likely to be enter a co-dependent relationship with me (bad mental health, physical health issues ect). I ended up coming to the conclusion that it’s easier to avoid having to deal with my own issues if I spend my time dealing with somebody else’s.
“Your self confidence will fluctuate day to day, maybe even minute to minute. That’s transient. But what doesn’t fluctuate is your knowledge, your training, your intelligence and intellect. Those things stay consistent and improve with time. Don’t put too much stock in your self confidence being a measure of how competent you are. Trust in the other things that are consistent and concrete.”
“They’ll get over it.” We were discussing setting boundaries, and how hard it was for me to say no. People would be mad if I said no, I told her. “So?” she said. “They’ll be mad.” When I just stared at her, not comprehending, she went on with that pearl of wisdom: they’ll get over it. I thought of all the times I’d been upset with people and had had to get over it, and realized she was right. Even the person whose anger I feared the most would get over it, in time. The first time I said no was hard. I fretted about it and the other person’s reaction for a while. It got easier, though, and now I have no trouble at all.
Today my therapist spoke out loud to the “part” of me that is depression, thanked it for doing its best to keep me safe, but that it’s time for a new job now because we’re healing now. We’re working on what that job could be. Maybe reminding me to rest.
“just because everyone in your class pretends to be depressed, that doesn’t mean you have to pretend to be depressed too”
“When I first read your file I thought for sure I’d see a long history of dysfunctional relationships, violent crime and prison time. Instead you’ve managed to turn into a relatively normal person. I see 5 different traumas from your childhood, any one of which would be enough to have derailed the life of most people. The fact that you’re relatively normal is actually a testament to you as a good person.”
Made me cry. Hard to say to people “sure I’m messed up, but at least I deserve some credit for not being anywhere near as messed up as I could be” and have them understand. It was nice to be seen and understood by someone.
