“Unlock the Secrets: Melania Trump’s Memoir Promises Eternal Connection—Will You Be Among the Chosen?”
In a bizarre yet captivating promotional stunt, Melania Trump has taken an unexpected approach to drum up excitement for her upcoming memoir, Melania. Picture this: the first 1,000 preorders could result in the readers being greeted by her face in their dreams for eternity! Yes, you heard that right—haunting your nighttime slumber until you take your last breath. Is it just me, or did that leap from selling books to eerie nighttime visitations catch everyone off guard? With a flair for the dramatic, the former First Lady presented this unorthodox offer during a rare public appearance in Palm Beach, promising her “ghastly visage” would add a uniquely chilling touch to the life stories of her lucky fans. So, mark your calendars for her book’s October 8 release, because you just might want to keep the lights on at night. Want to know more about this intriguing promotion? LEARN MORE.
PALM BEACH, FL—Hoping to boost sales of her new book, Melania Trump announced Tuesday that the first 1,000 people to preorder her memoir Melania would see her face in their dreams until they die. “I am so excited to be sharing my story, and I want to show my gratitude by offering a few lucky buyers the exclusive chance to be haunted by my ghastly visage night after night for as long as they live,†the former first lady said in a rare public appearance ahead of the volume’s Oct. 8 release, teasing the promotion as an opportunity for one-on-one face time between herself and her fans. “Whether my stony, unblinking face will appear in the mirror as you close your medicine cabinet, emerge from the shadows of your closet as you try to fall asleep, or hover directly above you as you lie in bed—inches away from your face like a nightmare from which you can never wake—I know no better way to show my appreciation than to haunt you until you breathe your last breath. But you have to act fast!†Trump went on to add that the first 1,000 preorders would also receive a free American flag bookmark.
The post Melania Trump Announces First 1,000 People To Preorder New Memoir Will See Her Face In Their Dreams Until Death appeared first on The Onion.
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