“Unlocking the Enigma: What Secrets Lie Within the Poet’s Cryptic Verse?”

In the quaint village of Brattleboro, Vermont, a poetic conundrum has emerged, leaving readers scratching their heads and questioning their own grasp on the written word. Have you ever read a poem so confounding that it makes you wonder if the writer was actually trying to communicate or just stringing together words like a toddler with a box of crayons? Well, Kelsey Graves certainly found herself in that perplexing situation, expressing her utter bewilderment over a certain poet’s obscure imagery and abstract style. With phrases floating around about “bright ovals” of someone’s mysterious eyes, it’s baffling that the poet didn’t bother to clarify who we’re supposed to be getting all melodramatic about. Instead, it’s left to readers to decipher whether this poetic piece is profound or just a load of chaotic nonsense. In a time where clarity is sought, is it really too much to ask for some semblance of meaning? Grab your literary magnifying glass, folks, because it seems we’re going to need it for this one! LEARN MORE
BRATTLEBORO, VT—Expressing frustration with the writer’s ambiguous imagery and nonlinear writing style, sources confirmed Monday that it was unclear what the fuck the poet they were reading was on about. “He keeps describing the ‘bright ovals’ of someone’s eyes, but he never says who the person is or how we’re supposed to feel about her—it’s total bullshit,” said reader Kelsey Graves, telling reporters the dickhead poet had left no indication why his untitled poem was written in all lowercase letters or why it used dashes and no other punctuation. “Christ, come on, some of these lines have like 10 words in them, and then these three are just the word ‘falling’ repeated again and again. What the hell? Then, over here, he’s putting a goddamn line break between “wheel” and “barrow” like a total fucking maniac.”  At press time, Graves had reportedly decided to just chalk the poem up to being about the death of America’s innocence and call it a day. 

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