“Unlocking the Mystery: How AI is Revolutionizing Our World – Are You Ready for the Transformation?”
In case I am secretly replaced by AI, here’s how you can tell that it’s not me:
The column is written in a cold, emotionless tone. As you know, Jeanketeers, my life is an open book and, quite adorably, an open book with one of those furry pink covers! I don’t keep secrets, and this sassy lass refuses to phone it in. Sure, maybe I’d be more successful if I was all business. But would my column be the heartfelt labor of love that you true fans all so closely relate to? Boy, I hope all the smarty-pants who told me for years that my writing was too wordy, hysterical, and hard to follow are eating their own words now. Be careful what you wish for!
The column contains obvious factual inaccuracies. Artificial Jean will tell you that she has no imaginary children, because she is childless. Bio-Jean will say heck no: Rhett, Schuyler and Antoinette have been my made-up children for ages! Artificial Jean will confess that she is somewhere north of 40. No way, Jose—Bio-Jean is eternally 29! That’s a proven fact!
My fingers look really weird. True, you never actually see my fingers in my columns, which are all in writing. But AI might not understand that and might include an image of my hands anyway. Don’t ask me how that would happen—it’s a science-fiction world now! Well, rest assured the ol’ Teasdale digits aren’t curly tentacles and don’t count seven or eight per hand. I swear I only have 10 fingers (or eight fingers and two thumbs, Gotcha Gang. See, I’m real!).
If sentences with parentheses are absent, it’s fake, fake, fake. (Why, they’re practically a watermark. See, proof this column was written by Bio-Jean!) (Adding another parenthetical sentence so you know this is still me writing.)
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