“Unlocking the Secrets: 34 Parenting Traps You’re Unwittingly Falling Into—Are You One of Them?”
Telling my kid ‘because I said so’ instead of actually explaining things. I hated it as a kid, but now I totally get why my parents did it—sometimes you just don’t have the energy to argue with a 5-year-old.
Allowing my kids to see some of my anxiety. I try to keep a lid on it, because I know the reason I have it is because of how much my mother’s very open anxiety shaped mine, but it slips out here and there (broken glass is a trigger).
My dad was a workaholic and never got much time to spend with him. I find it hard to spend time with my kids. I’m there physically, its just hard emotionally.
Taking their bad mood out on me (emotionally, not physically), then feeling guilty and overcompensating by being extra sweet later after calming down. That leads to a disorganized attachment style and fear of intimacy. Kids shouldn’t be subjected to such emotional volatility.
My 3 year old has started saying “hey!” To get my attention. I keep replying “Hay is for horses.” I always promised myself I wouldn’t do that.
Trying to be ‘perfect’ instead of just being present. My parents stressed over little things, and now I catch myself doing the same. Learning to let go and enjoy the moment more.
Desiring my child to be like me. Mind you, I don’t actually try to make them like me but sometimes I want them to be interested in my interests and share my passions but I know that my child is their own person. My mother consistently pushed me to try to be like her and my dad. My father, thankfully was always the reasonable one in the family and always pushed back against her when she badgered us about fitting into her “norm”. I won’t say I resented her for it because I still love her dearly but it made growing up hard because it took me forever to find out who I was and get my individuality.
Being too lax on the sense of humor. My daughter was always mature enough to know when and where it was appropriate. My son is going to get in some trouble and I’m going to have to laugh my a*s off while being really mad at him. lol.
Being antisocial with other parents and having it limit my own kids’ social circles.
I (35, F) grew up without a mother. She left when I was a toddler and gave up full custody to my dad. I had a series of step mothers, but they were mostly short lived and weren’t very kind to me. I now have two daughters, and I try to act like what I imagine a mother should be. My references for behavior are from a Mish mash of friends moms and tv/movie characters. I just hope I’m doing well by them.
A lot of men have too much denial about the harm of circumcision to even question it, so they end up repeating the trauma on their kids rather than take the emotional hit of admitting they were harmed
My mother was alternately either over or underprotective as a result of which I developed severe emotional problems and had a real lack of trust and confidence in myself and the world during my teens. Took me a very long time to come to terms with after many disasters. My father wasn’t involved much in my upbringing due to divorce and my mother blocking him out of our lives mostly, it is later that I rekindled my relationship with my father.
Not the answer that you’re looking for but i have two cats that have been healthy up until last month. I have become a neurotic overbearing mess. Not that I’ve ever been a laid back person but this is overboard even for me. If I’m like this over two cats I can’t imagine what I’d be like with children. So this has made me take a step back from having kids.
Their mistake was HAVING children. I am making sure I don’t make that mistake.
We all know this much harsh syllabus, sitting at school all day for kids from 4 is not required at all. We all lagged life skills. But here we are repeating the same for our kids.
No morals! They just said read the Bible and go to church.
I grew up as an entitled little s**t.
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