Unlocking the Secrets of ‘Blue Balls’ and Its Shocking Female Equivalent—What Your Doctor Isn’t Telling You
Gentlemen, ladies, and the curious alike—ever heard the grim anthem of “blue balls” and wondered if it’s just a cheeky excuse or an actual biological beast? You might’ve tossed it into the same bin as the infamous “man flu,” a condition skeptically labeled as men whining louder, but guess what? Doctors confirm these aren’t just tall tales whispered in locker rooms. Blue balls, or if you wanna really impress at parties, epididymal hypertension, is indeed a bona fide medical condition—yes, painful and very much real. And it gets better: the ladies have their own version, cheekily dubbed “blue vulva.” So before you side-eye the next complaint about blue balls, maybe lean in a bit closer—there’s some legit science behind that discomfort. Curious to dive deeper and get the lowdown straight from the pros? LEARN MORE.
The gentlemen among you reading this may very well be familiar with the term ‘blue balls’ and the pain it brings.
Others might have filed it alongside terms like ‘man flu’ (which is also real) as the name of something which men pretend is a proper medical condition but is actually just blokes complaining.
However, they’re both real and a doctor has confirmed it’s an actual medical issue that men have to contend with while women have their own slice of unpleasantness.
If anyone’s trying to tell you that blue balls aren’t a real thing then you can throw back the knowledge that multiple doctors have confirmed it’s a genuine medical condition.
There’s even a really fancy name for it which you can drop into conversations to sound smart: epididymal hypertension.
Yes, blue balls are a real thing and they’re very painful (Getty Stock Photo)
What does ‘blue balls’ mean?
Blue balls, or epididymal hypertension if you want to be fancy about it, is caused by blood flow to the genitals when you get aroused followed by a prolonged period without ejaculation.
Doctor Luke Pratsides explained to Numan: “This increased blood flow is normal and important for achieving and sustaining an erection.
“However, if sexual arousal is prolonged without ejaculation, the blood vessels around the testicles remain enlarged and cause too much blood flow to the genitals.
“In turn, the genitals increase in size and become heavy. This can be very uncomfortable.”
Building up all that arousal and not releasing it ends up being painful for you, and Dr Luke said that the slang term ‘blue balls’ comes from the ‘blueish colour’ caused by having lots of blood around your testicles.
Women also suffer from the same problem, known as ‘blue vulva’ for them (Getty Stock Photo)
What’s ‘blue vulva’?
Blue balls is bad enough, but there’s also a version of it for those without balls as well.
Doctor Rena Malik said that just as blue balls was a real condition, so too was ‘blue vulva’ which works along similar principles.
“Interestingly this is a phenomenon that is not specific only to men, women also experience ‘blue vulva’ when they’re aroused and don’t achieve climax,” the doctor explained.
Basically the same set of conditions which lead to blue balls can result in blue vulva when there’s different junk, causing pain and discomfort that is best avoided.
If you want to get rid of it there’s a few ways you can manage it (Getty Stock Photo)
How do you avoid blue balls and blue vulva?
Fortunately, if you give your body a bit of time, your blue balls or blue vulva will go away by itself and the pain shall subside.
However, there’s a few things you can do to speed up the process and primary among them is attending to the reason that you’re feeling the pain in the first place.
Basically, you should pleasure yourself to climax and do the thing your body was expecting to happen when you got aroused.
Alternatively, Dr Luke suggests you could find something to distract yourself with that’ll make your arousal disappear quickly or you might have a cold shower.
There is some science behind this, as cold temperatures cause a reduction in blood flow to your genitals which helps relieve the pain.
Basically, have a w**k, distract yourself with something else or take a cold shower.
One of those options seems far more fun than the rest.
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