Unraveling the Dark Secrets Behind ‘Good Boy’: What You’re Not Being Told
Is it possible a dog knows more about horror than Stephen King? Well, this weekend, “Good Boy” hits theaters, and suddenly I’m pondering the deep philosophical question: If a canine battles demons via aggressive crotch-licking and nobody fetches a tennis ball, does the horror even count? Let’s be honest—most movies have you clutching popcorn in terror, but this one’s perspective is two and a half feet off the ground and, frankly, laser-focused on the nether-regions. And just when you think Hollywood has run out of ways to innovate, here comes a film shot from the bored, existential eye-roll of an audience member—relatable much? If you’ve ever wondered what happens when a Nova Scotia duck tolling retriever outshines Glen Powell, or what “504 dog minutes” feels like after the previews, you’re in for a treat (with a dab of peanut butter, apparently) . Save your seat—or maybe just the parking spot outside. LEARN MORE
Good Boy, a horror movie told from the point of view of its dog protagonist, comes to theaters this weekend. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the film.
Q: What is Good Boy about?
A: A loyal dog discovers supernatural forces lurking in his crotch that must be exorcised through intense licking.
Q: What’s so unique about the film?
A: It’s viewed from the perspective of a bored audience member.
Q: How did they get the dog to react?
A: The crew rubbed peanut butter on the ghosts.
Q: Where does it take place?
A: About two and a half feet off the ground.
Q: How long is it?
A: 504 dog minutes.
Q: How is Glen Powell’s performance?
A: Again, that is a Nova Scotia duck tolling retriever.
Q: Is it scary?
A: Most theaters allow you to purchase a ticket and then wait in the parking lot while the movie plays.
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