“Unraveling the Mystery: Who’s Behind the Jan. 6 Pardons and What It Means for Justice?”
In a twist that feels like a plot straight out of a satirical novel, former President Donald Trump has decided to pardon approximately 1,500 rioters from the infamous Jan. 6 attack on the U.S. Capitol. Yes, you heard that right—nearly 1,500 individuals who stormed the halls of democracy are getting a second chance, while nonviolent marijuana offenders breathe a sigh of relief, realizing they no longer have to share a cell with insurrectionists. You might be wondering: what’s the logic here? Is there a secret formula for scoring a pardon that involves, say, photo opportunities involving fire extinguishers and law enforcement? Or perhaps an insidious plot to rename ‘freedom’ as ‘anything goes’? Buckle up, because we’re diving headfirst into the bizarre world of pardons and their implications, where the absurd meets the real! LEARN MORE.President Donald Trump pardoned approximately 1,500 rioters who participated in the Jan. 6, 2021 attack on the U.S. Capitol. Here is everything you need to know about the pardons and commutations:
Q: Who is celebrating the pardons?
A: All the nonviolent marijuana offenders who no longer have to share their cells with insurrectionists.
Q: Do the pardons include the leader of the Proud Boys, the man who assaulted a police officer with a metal bat, the man who pepper sprayed—?
A: We’re going to stop you right there. Yes.
Q: Is anyone still guilty?
A: Nancy Pelosi will be arrested for entering Nancy Pelosi’s office.
Q: How can I get a pardon?
A: Send Trump a photo of yourself bludgeoning a cop with a fire extinguisher.
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