“Unraveling the Mystery: Why is This Screaming Man Lying on the Ground?”
In a world where chaos often feels like the new normal, it seems that the sights of a thrashing, screaming man on the sidewalk might just blend in with the scenery. I mean, who hasn’t seen something bizarre, shrugged, and thought, “Well, I’m sure someone is taking care of that!”?
Picture this: a passerby in Atlanta witnessing a man, in quite an unfortunate spot on the pavement, belting out a cacophony that could rival any rock concert. Instead of rushing to assist—or heck, even taking a second look—she boldly proclaims that everything is probably how it’s meant to be. “The powers that be must know what’s happening,” she reassures herself, proving that ignorance is, indeed, bliss… or at least a way to avoid dealing with awkward situations.
Oh, and how comforting it is to know that multiple folks walked right on by, completely unfazed! I mean, if there’s ever a sign that everything’s A-OK, it’s when pedestrians give zero cares about a writhing figure on the ground. What a jaded society we’ve got here! But don’t worry; no alarms went off when the man finally stopped his theatrics and lay still, presumably resetting to his pre-scream mode. Crisis averted, right?
This is the absurdity of urban life, where screaming fits become just another item on the day’s to-do list: Check, and move along. Life rolls on, but boy, doesn’t it make you wonder what would happen if we actually stopped to check in?
ATLANTA—Noting that everything was most likely exactly as it should be, sources confirmed Friday that a screaming man lying on the ground was probably supposed to be there. “I assume the powers that be are aware this guy is there and it’s all going according to protocol,” said passerby Jen Pemberton, adding that the multiple people who had already passed without concern the man thrashing on the sidewalk served as an indication that nothing was amiss. “If it wasn’t fine for him to be there, or it was a problem for him to be twitching like that, then I’m sure someone would be dealing with the situation.” At press time, sources reported that everything had worked itself out after the man had stopped screaming and begun lying perfectly still.
The post Screaming Man Lying On The Ground Supposed To Be There Probably appeared first on The Onion.
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