“Unraveling the Numbers: What the Surprising Data Behind DOGE Reveals About Its Future”
In a world where efficiency is king—or so they say—Elon Musk, the self-proclaimed leader of DOGE, is making headlines by claiming that the Department Of Government Efficiency (yes, you read that right) has saved a jaw-dropping $55 billion. But as The Onion dives into the numbers, one has to wonder: at what cost? From sandwiches snatched from hungry schoolkids to federal employees laid off via memes, the figures tell a tale that’s part absurdist comedy, part cautionary fable. If you ever thought government work was mundane, think again! With departmental meetings spiraling into screen time on Musk’s phone, and a suspiciously generous group discount on fake IDs, we’re left asking: Is this the new normal for efficiency, or just a recipe for chaos? Curious minds will definitely want to dig in—there’s never a dull moment in the land of government “efficiency.” LEARN MORE.Elon Musk, the leader of DOGE, claims the organization’s sweeping cuts have already saved the government $55 billion. The Onion examines the key facts and figures behind the Department Of Government Efficiency.
20,000: Free lunch sandwiches confiscated from schoolchildren’s mouths mid-bite
17: Cancer research breakthroughs successfully averted
45: Minutes per meeting spent looking at videos on Elon Musk’s phone
83: FAA employees left between you and a Boeing 747 crashing into your house
10%: Group discount on department fake ID order
13,000: Federal employees laid off via meme
500: Nut taps distributed
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