“Unseen Shields: Revolutionary Strategies the Secret Service Could Implement to Fortify Trump’s Security”
The United States Secret Service is once again in the spotlight, and not for any glamorous reasons. Apparently, former President Donald Trump has come under threat not once, but twice in just three months! Talk about taking “presidential protection” to another level. Can you imagine the Secret Service brainstorming new ways to tighten security, perhaps while snacking on donuts and nervously glancing at the clock? In this satirical piece from The Onion, you’ll find a list packed with downright absurd suggestions, including everything from disguising Trump in a ghillie suit to faking his own death. So, what’s next? A presidential bowling night? Buckle up for some tongue-in-cheek hilarity as it delves into the unorthodox tactics that just might do the trick. Sounds bizarre, right? Well, that’s the charm of it! LEARN MORE
The United States Secret Service is under scrutiny again after former President Donald Trump was the target of a second assassination attempt in less than three months. The Onion examines ways the agency can boost Trumpâs security.
Reduce number of ex-goon hires: The fewer agents who stumble into a room saying, âUhh, whatâs dat over there, boss?â the better.
Put Trump in a ghillie suit: By disguising the former president in high-quality camouflage, Trump will be able to wander the swamps and forests of the U.S. safely.
Say âLook! Heâs over there!â: This age-old diversion tactic has foiled countless assassination attempts around the world for thousands of years.
