“Unveiling the Controversial Playbook: How Trump Plans to Exploit a 2024 Election Defeat”
Insiders from Donald Trump’s camp are whispering that, should he taste defeat in the upcoming election, he’s ready to throw down the gauntlet once more—just like a reality show contestant attempting to secure a second chance. It’s almost predictable: the theatrical moves, the outlandish tactics, and of course, the inevitable drama. What could he possibly be cooking up this time? From wielding a tiki totem like a superhero saves-the-day prop to potentially strapping a bomb to J.D. Vance (don’t worry—it’s all in good fun, and totally illegal), the strategies are as colorful as a feather boa at a Vegas show. So grab your popcorn, folks, because it looks like we’re in for a circus-style showdown: will Trump’s tactics include an Olympic-level pout or perhaps a sneaky plan to camp out in the White House claiming “squatter’s rights”? Buckle up—it’s about to get wild! LEARN MORE.
Insiders from Donald Trump’s campaign report that the former president is once again preparing to challenge election results in the event of a loss. Here are some of the strategies the candidate and his team are considering deploying.
- Use the immunity idol he earned during the debates: The tiki-shaped totem gives Trump one chance to save himself from elimination.
- Strap a bomb to J.D. Vance’s chest and take the Senate hostage: Legally impermissible, but not among the worst things that Vance would jump at the chance to do.
- Pout: The former president is already reportedly practicing a pout so piercing it could sway some electors to his side.
- Fake a hamstring pull: This election doesn’t count if it happened while he was injured.
- Move into White House and claim squatter’s rights: Worth a shot.
- Put on a ton of weight: If Kamala Harris sees he’s stress-eating, she might feel bad and give him the job.
- Jan. 7 rally: With a different date, no one will ever see it coming.
- Ask nicely: There’s a first time for everything.
The post How Trump Will Challenge The 2024 Election If He Loses appeared first on The Onion.
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