“WeightWatchers Shocks Members: The 0-Point Secret Ingredient That Could Change Your Diet Forever!”

In a culinary twist that’s bound to set diet enthusiasts’ taste buds ablaze, WeightWatchers has unveiled a rather outrageous gambit to jump-start its dwindling brand: butter is now officially worth zero points! Yes, you heard that right—zero! I mean, could you imagine a world where slathering your toast in creamy goodness doesn’t rack up those pesky points? Interim CEO Tara Comonte has promised a butter bonanza, introducing frozen butter packs for those single-serve meal hors d’oeuvres we never knew we needed. And believe it or not, they say just chewing butter can torch calories faster than I can say “dieting is for sissies!” So, are we really in for a butter-fueled eating spree? Grab your sticks and let’s find out! <a href="https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/01/WeightWatchersNIB_IHA-GR.jpg”>LEARN MORE.

NEW YORK—In a desperate attempt to revive their floundering brand amid declining revenues, WeightWatchers officials announced Thursday that butter was now worth zero points. “Joining the likes of cauliflower, plain Greek yogurt, and air-popped popcorn, butter will now be a WeightWatchers ZeroPoint food, so go ahead and eat—or drink—as much as you like,” said interim CEO Tara Comonte, adding that to make planning easier, the company would be releasing its own brand of frozen butter that customers could purchase in their supermarket’s single-serve meals section. “In fact, our scientists have found that the mere act of chewing butter can burn an extraordinary number of calories. So go ahead, enjoy a stick or two! And if you prefer beef tallow, that’s –1 points. ” Comonte went on to state that members could also buy additional points online anytime they felt hungry.