What Does Trump Want From The Smithsonian? Demands Revealed
Ever wondered what would happen if you handed over the keys to the Smithsonian—and every dusty display case inside—to a president whose favorite idea of American history is the Home Alone 2 cameo? Well, slip on your museum-quality white gloves (or maybe blindfolds?) because here we are . The White House is putting all those hallowed halls under the microscope to judge if the tone, stories, and yes, even the mammoth colors, properly ooze “American ideals.” It’s a full-on exhibition makeover! From Cola War retrospectives to the heartbreakingly poetic relocation of nude sculptures (men’s bathroom, really?), the new crop of changes reads like a fever dream, or perhaps a new SNL sketch waiting in the wings . Ready for plaques, magic tricks, and a little “happily ever after” on the end of every label? Me too—I mean, who said learning can’t come with a side of existential dread (and giggles)? Buckle up, history buffs, because the only thing being preserved now is your sense of disbelief . LEARN MORE
The White House has announced they will be reviewing all exhibits at the Smithsonian Institution in order “to assess tone, historical framing, and alignment with American ideals.” Here is a selection of the changes President Trump is demanding be implemented immediately.
New wing about the Cola wars
Plaques updated to confirm that wooly mammoths were white
Artifacts will be returned to the people who originally stole them
Air and Space Museum must loan all planes, shuttles, and gliders to Israel
Portraits and sculptures of nude women relocated to men’s bathroom
Overnight dismantling of anything even resembling disability accommodation
Melania added as newest of the 274 lifelike specimens in the Hall of Mammals
Blindfolds handed out at the entrance to the National Museum of African American History
The Wright brothers will be referred to as the Flight brothers because it just makes more sense
At least one exhibit about how magic tricks work
Last sentence of all plaques changed to “and they lived happily ever after”
