What Is the Truth Behind ICE Raids? Separating Shocking Myths from Startling Facts
Are you ever scrolling through your feed and stumble upon an image so bleak, so bureaucratic, you can almost hear the rustling of paperwork and the distant echo of someone mispronouncing “deportation” for the sixth time? That’s exactly how I felt seeing this photo—a no-nonsense ICE squad, faces so serious they probably ticket their Roombas for loitering . With immigration raids all over the news, misinformation has joined the party faster than your aunt at an open-bar wedding. And wow, there’s a ton to go around—some of it so wild, I half-expected to find “ICE raids are secretly run by raccoons in tiny uniforms.” How much do we really know about the people behind the bulletproof vests and ambiguous job descriptions? Sometimes I wonder if any of us know what’s actually happening…or do we just assume Nana was sent somewhere near El Salvador and call it a day? Anyway, if you’re as baffled—and amused—as I am by the never-ending parade of myths (and ice-cold “facts”), then buckle up. Brace yourself for a crash course in the weirdest, darkest truths about ICE raids that would make even Kafka say, “No thanks, I’ll pass.” Oh—and if you want to dig into the satirical, half-toxic rabbit hole from the source itself, here’s your portal: LEARN MORE.
As Immigration and Customs Enforcement operations ramp up across the country, so has misinformation. The Onion dispels common myths surrounding ICE raids.
MYTH: ICE agents lack proper training.
FACT: Most have been racists their entire lives.
MYTH: ICE raids do nothing to reduce crime.
FACT: A fruit vendor who sold mangoes that weren’t quite ripe is now off the streets.
MYTH: ICE agents are required to identify themselves.
FACT: Most ICE agents are preverbal.
MYTH: My grandmother was deported to El Salvador.
FACT: No one really knows where she was deported to.
MYTH: ICE is violating people’s constitutional rights.
FACT: The U.S. Constitution doesn’t apply in Uganda.
MYTH: ICE exists to protect Americans.
FACT: They’re right behind us, aren’t they?
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