What Really Happens Inside Starbase: 48 Hours Behind SpaceX’s Mysterious Gates
Have you ever wondered what it might be like if Musk-topia had its own zip code—and a mandatory viewing of him carrying a sink on loop? Well, buckle up, future astro-tourist, because the satirical fever dream known as Starbase (yes, SpaceX’s rocket-fueled enclave) is now officially a Texas city . The Onion has rolled out the red carpet for the ambitious or simply the chronically curious, constructing the definitive 48-hour itinerary for any bright-eyed visitor brave enough to stray beyond the boundaries of average. Prepare for a journey where the visitor center hands you maps based on your DNA, the “Build-a-Son Workshop” lets you channel your inner Frankenstein via Muskian genetics, and you can round off the night debating if “The Feeding” is a new SXSW afterparty or just avant-garde Texan hospitality . Somewhere between artisanal monkey jerky and being serenaded by Rick and Morty quotes, you may find yourself genuinely asking: Is this the future of tourism—or just a test rocket pointed straight at satire? Either way, your travel insurance probably doesn’t cover abduction by Grimes at 2:30 a.m. Ready to chart a course so surreal it makes “Space Oddity” sound like a lullaby? <a href="https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/INFO48hrsInStarbaseG_PH.jpg”>LEARN MORE.
Starbase, home to SpaceX’s private launch site, has voted to become an official Texas city. The Onion shares the perfect two-day itinerary for Starbase tourists.
Day One
9:30 a.m. Get started at the visitor center
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