What Your Shampoo Isn’t Telling You: The Surprising Truth Behind Hair Loss Myths
Can we please talk about hair for a second? I mean—80 million Americans are walking around shedding strands like Hansel and Gretel dropped breadcrumbs, and somehow, we’re still clinging to the same tired old myths about why our follicles are jumping ship . Is it genetics? Sunlight? Gremlins? At this point, I’m pretty sure my split ends have unionized to negotiate a severance package . Don’t even get me started on all those magic solutions out there promising that luscious lion’s mane for just half your annual salary—oh, honey, if it were only so easy! But if you, like me, have ever looked at a gleaming bald head and whimsically wondered, “Is this a result of testosterone, witches’ curses, or some sort of Tucci voodoo?”—then, oh boy, have I got the explainer for you . I dove into The Onion’s razor-sharp (and let’s be honest, probably wig-wearing) takedown of every single follicle fallacy out there . Are you ready for the naked—err, bald—truth? LEARN MORE.An estimated 80 million Americans suffer from hair loss, including thinning and male pattern baldness. The Onion examines the myths and facts surrounding hair loss.
MYTH: Genetics are the main cause of hair loss.
FACT: Hair loss is most commonly caused by standing too close to an open flame.
MYTH: Hair loss is permanent.
FACT: For six easy payments of $1,200, nothing is permanent.
MYTH: Baldness is caused by too much testosterone.
FACT: Baldness is caused by too little hair.
MYTH: If your mom’s father is bald, you’ll be bald.
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