Why Is Dad Suddenly Riding in the Backseat?

Have you ever glanced in your rearview mirror and felt like you’d accidentally reversed the flow of time—except instead of spotting a giggling toddler with juice stains, you catch the image of your once-thunderous dad, looking more like a confused carpooler than the family’s iron giant? I mean, really, at what point did we reach the alternate universe where Dad’s back there, fumbling with a seatbelt, quietly staring out the window like he’s waiting for the school bus—not the man who used to barrel down the highway with the confidence of a NASCAR driver hopped up on espresso? I’ll admit, it absolutely rattles the old emotional wiring…and maybe, just maybe, makes me triple-check my own seatbelt in existential dread. If you’ve ever wondered why seeing the patriarch in the back seat feels so hilariously, devastatingly off, you’re not alone . Buckle up (pun grimly intended)—this one’s a doozy. LEARN MORE

ST. PETERSBURG, FL—Noting that the change in status was disconcerting and weird for everyone involved, family sources released a report Thursday confirming that it would never feel right seeing Dad in the backseat of the car. “It’s just wrong to look in the rearview mirror and see Dad sitting back there like a little kid,” read the report, which noted that while Dad was once a formidable presence capable of taking up physical and emotional space, he was actually looking pretty frail these days. “It’s so disorienting to watch him fumble with the seatbelt or, God forbid, hear him ask for help putting it on. The worst part is when you look back and notice he’s just quietly staring out the rear passenger window. Sure, it’s weird when Mom is in the backseat, but it pales in comparison to seeing Dad back there.” The report added that to help the patriarch maintain his dignity, the car’s driver should pretend to be preoccupied during the long, excruciating process of Dad pulling himself up and exiting the vehicle.