Why Were White Sox Fans Suddenly Ordered to Spit Out Polish Sausage During the National Anthem?

Is there any act more American than clutching a greasy Polish sausage in one hand and your heart in the other—while the national anthem blares through a haze of grilled onions? Seriously, I’ve seen patriotism before, but nothing quite like the spectacle unfolding in Chicago’s south side ballpark. It’s not just the Sox fans’ unwavering loyalty to their team — it’s their ability to celebrate both country and cholesterol simultaneously. I mean, does the American flag wave just a little prouder when someone balances nachos on their lap mid-anthem? I can’t decide if this tradition is hilarious, slightly tragic, ridiculously endearing—or some exquisite combination of the three. Anyway, you’ve probably not heard an announcer remind thousands to “kindly remove any tubed meats from your mouth.” If only my SEO clients listened that well. For the full carnivorous comedy, you won’t want to miss a single, sausage-scented detail. LEARN MORE

CHICAGO—As a singer made her way onto the field to kickoff another home game with “The Star-Spangled Banner,” White Sox public address announcer Gene Honda politely reminded fans Tuesday to remove the Polish sausages from their mouths during the national anthem. According to spectators, Honda told the crowd to “Please rise and kindly remove any tubed meats from your mouth,” instructing those in attendance to respectfully place the bun over their hearts until the song had ended. Several reports indicated the announcement also included a reminder to take the nachos off one’s lap before standing to honor the American flag, though this message was largely drowned out by the chomping, crunching, chugging, and belching that echoed throughout the stadium and the city at large. Security officials later confirmed they had removed several “disrespectful” White Sox fans who had interrupted the anthem with various forms of meat-induced coronary failure.