“Will Moo Deng’s Adorable Rival Outshine Him in the Battle for the Hippo Kingdom?”
In the whimsical world of social media fame, even a pint-sized pygmy hippo can feel the pressure of staying relevant! Moo Deng, the current internet darling and a somewhat oversized zoo resident, recently shared her fears that a chubbier, feistier contender might waddle into her spotlight. Imagine the heartbreak—a single viral photo of a rolly-poly hippo baby munching on watermelon could spell doom for her reign! Moo Deng’s candid musings reveal a blend of endearing vulnerability and playful concern, as she reflects on the harsh reality of being No. 1 in the animal kingdom, where sloths, otters, and the like lay in ambush for a shot at her crown. And to make matters worse? Word has it she may be seeking the kind of help that could keep her small—and her fame intact! Want to dive into this delightful tale of competition and cuteness? LEARN MORE
SI RACHA, THAILAND—Expressing concern over how long the joy ride would last, internet phenom and zoo resident Moo Deng told reporters Friday she was worried a chubbier, feistier pygmy hippo was coming to take this all away. “I’ve sacrificed everything to get where I am—everything—but it will disappear in an instant if some plucky upstart pygmy hippo comes along who’s so fat she can’t even run without adorably tripping over herself,†said Deng, staring at her reflection in a puddle as she ruminated about how just a single photo of a delightfully plump hippo baby eating a watermelon would be enough to bring everything crashing down. “Even the chubbiest of hippos don’t stay on top forever, I know that. When you’re No. 1, there’s always some sloth or otter trying to take you down. Hell, if it happened to [2017 social media star] Fiona the hippo, it could happen to me.†At press time, a zoo spokesperson confirmed Moo Deng was seeking help for abusing anti-growth hormones in an attempt to stay small forever.
The post Moo Deng Worried Chubbier, Feistier Pygmy Hippo Coming To Take This All Away appeared first on The Onion.
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