You Won’t Believe What English Sounds Like to Non-Native Speakers—Prepare to Be Surprised!

Ever notice how British folks seem to carry this unshakable notion that everyone should just magically understand English—no matter where you land on this spinning globe? I mean, the British Empire has been strutting its stuff for almost four centuries, yet when it comes to holidays abroad, many Brits don’t exactly roll out the red carpet for cultural kindness. Instead, a casual “hello” or “thank you” often gets politely skipped, relying on locals to decode our charmingly accented ramblings. Now, English is the kingpin of business and trade, sure, but with Mandarin and Spanish out-talking us worldwide, are mandatory Mandarin lessons really too much to ask? And don’t even get me started on our beloved idioms like “hold your horses” or “got your goat”—try explaining those to a non-native without sounding nuts! A hilarious TikTok by a multilingual chap @languagesimp hilariously reveals what English sounds like to the uninitiated—a bizarre, nonsense-sounding gibberish that somehow feels oddly familiar. So, next time you jet off, maybe crack open a dictionary or fire up Google Translate—because assuming that “everyone speaks English” might just be the greatest British faux pas of all. Curious to hear the wild side of Anglo lingo? LEARN MORE.

Although the British empire has been around for nearly 400 years now, there seems to be an inherent belief among Brits that everyone we encounter should be able to understand English perfectly.

It’s fair to say that when it comes to tourism and holidays, Brits don’t exactly have the best reputation for embracing different cultures, with many of us not even bothering to learn hello or thank you when visiting a new country, instead relying on locals to comprehend what we’re saying in accented English.

While English might well be the language of international business and trade, both Mandarin and Spanish have more speakers worldwide, and yet the chances of us starting mandatory Mandarin lessons in school seems unlikely to say the least.

And while the extremely long words in German or the symbols in Chinese might seem strange to us, mastering the English language is also a near-impossible task, given our love of idioms and phrases like ‘hold your horses’, or ‘got your goat’. Have you ever tried explaining that to someone that doesn’t have English as a first language?

A viral TikTok video from multilingual bloke @languagesimp has let people know what the Anglo lingo sounds like to people who don’t understand it.

The effect is a little strange for those of us who do speak English, with one person commenting: “I felt like I should understand what he was saying.”

Another asked: “You are telling me people hear me talking like a Sim?”

While someone else wrote: “I feel like I understand what he’s saying, but I also don’t.”

A fourth person said: “This sounds right… but it’s not… ”

As you can hear in the video, it sounds pretty peculiar but even turning up the volume and listening very closely won’t allow you to understand fully, as he’s basically just saying nonsense words but with the sort of tone and diction that makes you feel like you should be getting every word.

English might seem easy when you’ve spoken it your whole life (Getty Stock)

When it comes to understanding different languages I feel I’ve got more experience than most, given that my partner’s parents do not understand a word of English, and listening in on their conversations sounds very similar to this, as I desperately try to pick out the odd word as they speak rapid Spanish. It turns out the two minute daily Duolingo lesson isn’t enough to become fluent.

In terms of the English language, foreigners have lots of less-than-complimentary notes from what they’ve heard so far, and it includes:

• Slurred and garbled sounds
• Harsh ‘r’ sounds
• Overuse of ‘s’, ‘sh’ and ‘ch’ sounds
• Interesting variations in rhythm and inflections
• Lots of ‘ing’ sounds at the end of words
• Dropping of consonants at the beginning and end of words
• Overemphasis on the beginning of words and underemphasis on the end
• Open and rolling vowel sounds
• Soft consonants
• Flat sounds

So, next time you’re on holiday, maybe make the effort to get a dictionary or use google translate, rather than just assuming, because to assume is to make an ass out of you and me.

There I go with another British idiom, maybe I’m part of the problem.