New Study Reveals Women’s Surprising Secret Crush—and It Involves ZZ Top

New Study Reveals Women’s Surprising Secret Crush—and It Involves ZZ Top

Is it just me, or have you ever noticed how every woman’s “perfect man” checklist—sense of humor, emotional smarts, decent shoes—gets tossed out the window the second some dude with a beard that could house its own ecosystem strolls by, Stetson perched sideways, guitar riffs echoing off the walls? I mean, forget dating apps—apparently membership in ZZ Top is the secret ingredient we’ve all been missing! I couldn’t help but laugh out loud (and maybe sigh a little) when I stumbled on this absolutely bonkers study out of Houston. According to actual researchers—yes, people who get paid to study our collective desires—the real dealbreaker in American dating isn’t kindness or compatibility, but whether he jams “La Grange” on a fuzzy guitar and owns more rhinestones than a Vegas chorus line. Now, if you’re wondering how to spot true love beneath mirrored sunglasses and a tangle of facial hair, you’re not alone . There’s a hilarious twist here that seems like it could only happen in Texas…or, well, in the pages of this wild article . Ready to rethink your type or just giggle at the absurdity? LEARN MORE

HOUSTON—A new study published Thursday by researchers at the University of Houston revealed that the average American woman vastly prefers a romantic partner who is a member of ZZ Top. “While emotional intelligence and a sense of humor factor into their decision-making, heterosexual women are still largely judging men based on their possession of a foot-long beard, a Stetson hat, and an ability to solo on stage to ‘La Grange,’ ‘Gimme All Your Lovin’, ’ and ‘Legs,’ ” lead researcher Christoph Borgen said of the study, which surveyed over 15,000 women and found that the single most determinative factor in their dating choices was whether a man drives around in a vintage Ford hot rod, wears rhinestone jackets, and, most crucially, has spent years in the blues-rock group ZZ Top. “These findings hold true regardless of race, age, or religious background. Most women simply want to settle down with someone who regularly plays a spinnable, fuzzy guitar.” The study concluded that the greatest difficulty facing modern women in the dating pool is knowing how to determine whether the man they are courting is Billy Gibbons, Frank Beard, or Elwood Francis beneath the iconic sunglasses and matching leather jackets. 

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