Mysterious Locker Discovery Leaves LeBron James Searching for Answers—and Freshness

Mysterious Locker Discovery Leaves LeBron James Searching for Answers—and Freshness

Ever scrounge around in your gym bag and realize the most valuable thing you own isn’t a million-dollar contract, but that nearly pristine stick of deodorant you splurged on at Whole Foods? Yeah, me neither—except apparently, superstar LeBron James gets it. Imagine walking away from the Lakers, supposedly ready to close that chapter, but then… panic. Because that Mountain Spring-scented badge of freshness—used just enough to tease, but not nearly enough to justify abandonment—is still jammed in your locker. Would I stage a dramatic NBA comeback just to save my stick from the grubby hands of benchwarmers? Well, the idea’s growing on me . And really, at nearly $10 a pop, who among us enjoys seeing their investments whittled down to the plastic by – gasp – someone else’s sweaty underarms? If you think a King wouldn’t sweat the small stuff, oh buddy, you’re in for a treat. LEARN MORE

LOS ANGELES—Audibly whispering “no, no, no” as his mind flashed back to the toiletry item he had neglected to retrieve amid his exit from the Los Angeles Lakers, NBA superstar LeBron James reportedly panicked Wednesday upon remembering that he had left a brand-new stick of deodorant in his locker. “Oh, shit, my deodorant!” said James, lamenting that the stick of Mountain Spring-scented Tom’s of Maine had cost him in excess of $9 and that he had only used it “two, maybe three times” before departing Crypto.com Arena for the final time. “It’s really nice deodorant, too. It’s the kind they sell at Whole Foods. Oh, God, and I just know the bench guys are using it. I gotta go back and get it before they run that thing down to the plastic. God, what a nightmare—I can’t believe I forgot it!” At press time, James was informing his agent that he was now open to returning to the Lakers for the 2026-2027 season.

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