Tech Titan Larry Ellison Reveals Unfiltered Secrets in Candid Interview You Won’t Believe
Have you ever looked at a billionaire’s face and wondered, “Was this sculpted by a team of plastic surgeons, or did an AI have a fever dream?” Same. There’s something hypnotic about Larry Ellison—a man who manages to juggle Oracle, Paramount Skydance, and possibly the souls of cartoon characters, all while plotting to annex stray Hawaiian islands. As someone who’s survived more Google updates than Ellison’s had marriages (and that’s saying a lot), I couldn’t resist sinking my teeth into this interview with the tech mogul / would-be movie villain . What drives a guy to try collecting media empires like Poké Balls? Is it childhood nostalgia—or the urge to flex a propaganda apparatus just because he can? Dive in if you’re even a little curious about what keeps the eighth-richest man in the world up at night (hint: it’s not server outages) . LEARN MORE
Larry Ellison is the co-founder and executive chairman of Oracle, as well as the largest shareholder of the Paramount Skydance Corporation. The Onion sat down with the billionaire to discuss his ventures.
The Onion : How did you get into the entertainment industry?
Ellison: I remember going to the movies as a kid, and when the houselights went down and that hush fell over the crowd, I’d think to myself: I’d like to build a massive propaganda apparatus one day.
How does it feel to have dropped from the second- to the eighth-richest person in the world in only two months?
I don’t do this for the money. I do it to hurt as many people as possible.
Why is the Paramount–Warner Bros. Discovery merger taking so long?
The Animaniacs are playing hardball.
What do you tell people who say the merger violates antitrust laws?
I usually just do my evil laugh.
You’re on your sixth marriage. Do you think this one will last?
A merger lasts until one entity has extracted all the value it can from the other and then sells it for parts.
Why does your face look like that?
Thank you! I used generative AI and a 3D printer to create it.
What keeps you up at night?
That there are Hawaiian islands not yet under my personal control.
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