GOP Insiders Secretly Plot to Keep Trump Out as Election Looms
Is it just me, or is American politics the only place where “just don’t be yourself for a week” could count as campaign strategy? I mean, can you imagine an intervention where everyone asks you—politely, of course—to simply stop being…well, you? That’s what we’re dealing with in this eyebrow-raising (yet somehow not surprising) saga as Republican strategists tiptoe around Donald Trump with all the subtlety of a beauty pageant stumble. The idea? Convince the president to take a brief hiatus—just through the midterms—then pop back into the Oval Office like it’s a timeshare in Boca Raton . Now, ask yourself: in what universe does a party willingly set their leader to “out of office” status, only to panic when faced with the prospect of a President JD Vance? Buckle up. This political soap opera is one for the ages—awkward silences, secret phone calls, and, oh yes, absolute pandemonium. LEARN MORE
WASHINGTON—Saying the gesture would boost his party’s electoral prospects at a crucial moment, Republicans have been privately urging President Donald Trump to not be president in the run-up to next week’s midterms, sources confirmed today. “We tactfully suggested that Republicans up and down the ticket would benefit from someone else being commander-in-chief, at least through Tuesday of next week,” said a GOP insider who did not wish to be named for fear of retaliation, adding that strategists had assured Trump he would be re-sworn into office the moment all the votes had been tallied. “We just thought it would be advantageous for candidates to forge an identity separate from Trump and be able to say, at a town hall, ‘The president’s a private citizen now, and I’m focused on the future,’ or, ‘Let’s not dwell on my ties to a man who’s no longer president and hasn’t even been in the White House since last Thursday.’ I’m certain he realizes that a quick, short-term resignation would pay massive dividends for both his allies and, of course, himself.” At press time, the plan had reportedly been scrapped after panicked Republicans realized that JD Vance would immediately assume the presidency in Trump’s place.
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