The Controversial Choice That Changed Spider-Man Forever: Unraveling ‘Brand New Day’
Is there any cinematic rite of passage quite as sacred as dropping $18 on popcorn and watching Spidey go through his annual existential crisis? Well, dust off your sticky gloves—because Spider-Man: Brand New Day has swung into theaters, and Hollywood’s favorite wall-crawler is promising more flips, quips, and questionable life choices than ever before . Honestly, I can’t decide what’s more electrifying: seeing Tom Holland master the forklift or watching yet another comic run get adapted and mutated in the Marvel laboratory . Which raises the real question—how many Spideys does it take to keep this franchise moving? Pull up a web and get comfy, because I’ve spun together everything you absolutely, positively need to know before you lace up your superhero sneakers for opening weekend . LEARN MORE
Spider-Man: Brand New Day opens in theaters this weekend. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the new film.
Q: What’s the premise?
A: The “premise”? Easy there, college boy. It’s a Spider-Man movie. You can leave your notebook at home.
Q: Which comic book is it based on?
A: The Spectacular Tom Holland #4.
Q: Will Spider-Man have any new powers?
A: In this one, he becomes forklift-certified.
Q: How does Brand New Day compare to other Spider-Man movies?
A: The main difference is this one comes out now, while the others came out in different years.
Q: Do Tom Holland and Zendaya kiss?
A: No, because they weren’t yet married when the movie was shot.
Q: Is there a post-credits scene?
A: After two and a half hours, there better not be.
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