The Shocking Truth Behind Your Tan: Debunking Tanning Myths You Still Believe
What’s the best accessory for summer—sunscreen or a suspiciously reptilian glow? Picture me staring at that photo, wondering if Gen Z’s obsession with “tanmaxxing” is driven by a deep longing to turn into a leather recliner by age 40 or just garden-variety denial about UV rays . I mean, sure, lizards look fantastic sprawled out in the sun—flawless, dewy scales and zero mortgage payments—but last time I checked, none of them have Yelp reviews left on their dermatologists . It’s wild to think that, despite all of our scientific breakthroughs, we’re still letting seagulls eat our vitamin D while we marinate ourselves like cast-iron pans in hopes of achieving a ‘sun-kissed’ vibe . But hey, why bother with facts when you could join a viral trend and risk third-degree “glamour”? Curious what’s myth, fact, or plain hysteria in the world of tanning? Get ready for a takedown of the sun’s greatest hits—plus some hard-won wisdom from my own SPF-slicked trenches . LEARN MORE
A viral trend called “tanmaxxing” is encouraging Gen Z to ignore the documented risks associated with prolonged UV exposure and forgo sunscreen in pursuit of darker tans. The Onion examines the common myths and facts surrounding tanning.
MYTH: Tanning is bad for your skin.
FACT: Lizards lay in the sun all day, and they’ve never looked better.
MYTH: Tanning gives the body all the vitamin D it needs.
FACT: Most of the sun’s vitamin D is eaten by seagulls long before it reaches the ground.
MYTH: Tanning is safe as long as you don’t get sunburned.
FACT: You should still wear a seatbelt when you get into a tanning bed.
MYTH: Tanning beds are thoroughly sanitized between customers.
FACT: Like cast-iron pans, they work best with a thin layer of seasoning.
MYTH: Base tans prevent sunburn.
FACT: The only sure way to prevent sunburn is agoraphobia.
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