34 Shocking Confessions from Adults Who Uncovered Their Parents’ Darkest Secrets
So, here’s a little food for thought: what really makes a “bad parent”? Is it the occasional eyebrow raise, the tired “because I said so,” or something far darker lurking beneath the surface? We all know nobody’s perfect—heck, some days I can barely keep a cactus alive—but some parenting choices leave scars that outlast the skinned knees. Redditor u/VastPurpleSky stirred the pot by asking people to spill the beans on those cringe-worthy, downright toxic parenting moments they only recognized as adults—think “Boys don’t cry” trauma, relentless criticism, or the classic “We’re doing you a favor by raising you” guilt trip. And oh boy, did the stories pour in, exposing the messy, raw, and sometimes heartbreaking truths that shape us. Ready to dive into tales of tough love gone wrong and learn what red flags to watch? Buckle up—it’s a wild ride through the highs and lows of growing up. LEARN MORE
There is no such thing as being a ‘perfect’ parent—it’s human to make mistakes. However, some decisions and parenting methods have a far more negative impact than others. And if those mistakes occur frequently enough and pile up, you might hear folks whispering about what a bad parent someone is. Unfortunately, in some cases, that reputation is entirely justified. And these people’s kids are left to deal with the emotional fallout for years and even decades to come.
Redditor u/VastPurpleSky asked people to take a look back at their childhoods and share the things that they now realize were examples of truly bad parenting. Read on for their open and honest stories.
Bored Panda got in touch with the author of the thread, u/VastPurpleSky, and they shared their thoughts on parenting red and green flags. Read on for our full interview with the OP.
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Three words: “Boys dont cry.” I dedicate this comment to my school counselor and my PE coach who both helped me get off the road to becoming a psychopath by telling me very much so that boys can and do indeed cry.
So the advice that might help one family become closer might accidentally spark more tension in another. It’s essential to be very careful before making blanket statements about how (not) to raise kids—there are subtle nuances once all the basics (shelter, food, education, emotional support, etc.) are taken care of.
But broadly speaking, according to researchers, there are four main parenting styles, and one of them stands out from the crowd as the best approach.
Made us feel like they were doing us a favor by raising us. For a long time I felt like I was always indebted to my parents and nothing I could do would ever be enough.
My family still believes beating a kid is a great form of discipline instead of just sitting down with and talking to your child. Who would’ve thought that Beating your child when they’re young, and barely getting to know them when they’re a teenager, would lead to them almost never reaching out to you when they’ve grown up and moved out? Mind blowing right?? Also, I absolutely CANNOT stress enough how important it is to show up to your child’s extracurricular activities. I played tennis all 4 years of high school and did marching band as well and I can count on 1 hand how many times they even bothered to show up. Your job is never going to remember you worked there, but your child will *always* remember you *weren’t* there.
However, this focus on obedience and punishment can lead their kids to develop self-esteem issues or even develop anger problems, Verywell Family notes.
Meanwhile, uninvolved parents expect their kids to raise themselves which can also lead to self-esteem issues further down the line. They tend to ignore their children, how they’re doing at school, and who they’re friends with. They simply don’t spend quality time with their kids or at home. As a result, there are often few rules that need to be followed, and the munchkins don’t get the guidance and attention that they need and want.
Nothing I did was good enough. Like, if she asked me to fold laundry and I’d do it, and then she’d redo it because I guess I folded the towels wrong. I’d clean my room, she’d come in and redo everything I’d done. And she wouldn’t teach me how she wanted things done, she’d just send me away and tell me she’d do it herself. Taught me that I shouldn’t even bother trying to help because she’s just going to redo whatever I did anyway, because I guess I was just a failure.
All the weight comments. I was always a chunky kid and definitely needed/need to lose the weight, but I’ve never been able to shake the idea that I don’t deserve to be loved, because of those comments. I can always look down and see 50 extra reasons to hate myself
They werent bad parents at all, but: Stop saying “just ignore them and theyll get tired of you” when your child is getting bullied It doesnt work. Your child will just be a punching bag. I did however break somones foot in 5th grade and never got bothered again.
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