America’s Surprise Royal Invasion: What Do Harry and Meghan Know That We Don’t?
Is it just me, or has America collectively decided that the only thing worse than missing out on royal drama is doing it alone, in sweatpants, on the wrong side of the Atlantic? When I saw those images of desperate travelers—suitcases stuffed with little more than hope and maybe some regrettable snack choices—cramming into airports like sardines hellbent on seeing Harry and Meghan off in style, I couldn’t help but laugh and wince at the same time . Is loyalty measured by willingness to share a lifeboat? Or passport-forging creativity? Honestly, all I can picture is 340 million people Googling “how to sneak into the UK” while TSA weeps softly in the background . But, if you’re like me—utterly fascinated by the bizarre lengths people go for a brush with ex-royalty—well, you’re in the right place . Tempted to trade national pride for jet lag and a chance at British tabloids? Same here, honestly . Dive in and let’s unravel the absurdity together . LEARN MORE

WASHINGTON—Swarming the nation’s airports as they rushed to board any available transatlantic flight, the U.S. populace decided Monday that if Harry and Meghan were going to the U.K., the rest of America was going with ’em. “Sure, it’ll be a big adjustment, but then again, what’s the point of staying in this country if you can’t share it with the Duke and Duchess of Sussex?” said Allen Hardy of Grand Rapids, MI, one of the 340 million Americans who hurriedly threw a couple of sweaters in a suitcase and abandoned their homes in hopes of reaching Great Britain as quickly as possible. “The airport expressways are jammed for thousands of miles, but I’m hoping I can catch a cruise ship or even a cargo vessel or something. All I know is, I’m not gonna let Harry and Meghan face England alone, and that’s that. I don’t even have a passport, but you’d better believe I’ll find a way around it. It’s just what you do for the people you care about. Hang on, guys, I’m on my way!” At press time, the populace of the United States had arrived in the U.K. and was told the royal couple was not currently receiving visitors.













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