Supreme Court Shocker: Female Justices Seek Urgent Safeguards Against Brett Kavanaugh
Ever wonder what it’s like to be cornered at work by someone who makes you wish you’d taken a job in an underground bunker instead? Well, grab your shabbiest cardigan—just in case—because the Supreme Court’s female justices have stepped into the Capitol spotlight with a plea that’s equal parts exasperating and darkly hilarious. Imagine clocking in at the nation’s highest court, only to feel like you’re starring in a legal thriller where the main threat is a fellow justice lurking near the water cooler. The tension’s real, yeah—but you can’t help but smirk at how bizarre it all feels. I mean, wouldn’t YOU brace for a sashay through your own office if Brett Kavanaugh might be around the next corner? Trust me, there’s more jaw-dropping detail where this came from. LEARN MORE.
WASHINGTON—Acknowledging that the danger would be difficult to manage and impossible to eliminate altogether, the Supreme Court’s female justices nevertheless appeared before Congress this week to ask for protection from fellow justice Brett Kavanaugh. “We understand that our safety cannot be guaranteed, but we are in a uniquely vulnerable position and have the right to carry out our duties without worrying that we’ll turn a corner one day and find Brett Kavanaugh standing there in the hallway,” said Justice Amy Coney Barrett, adding that she recently had to explain to her teenage children why she was forced to wear extra layers of baggy, shapeless shirts at work. “While we realize that posting security in every corridor and meeting room of the Supreme Court building could cost taxpayers millions of dollars, we can’t ignore the threat of Justice Kavanaugh, which has skyrocketed since 2018 and shows no sign of slowing down. By the time I step into an elevator with him inside it, it’ll be too late.” Barrett went on to say, however, that outside the security appropriation, Congress should stay out of Supreme Court affairs except to unethically appoint conservative justices.
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