75 Incredibly Bizarre Things Patients Uttered Under Anesthesia That Will Shock You
The surgery is so minor, they don’t put the patient fully under. They are put under twilight anesthesia meaning they are asleep enough to not be conscious but not asleep enough they stop breathing.
That’s the idea at least. I’m standing there, doing my best imitation of the animated end of a retractor when I get the feeling someone’s eyes are on me. My back is to anesthesia and the patient’s head, so I look over my shoulder and see the patient sitting bolt upright. I did a full cartoon double take.
I looked at the surgeon, and said “hey Dr. Surgeon, your patient is looking at me.”
The anesthesiologists magazine hits the floor and he starts to scramble. After a few frantic seconds the patient says “I don’t know what you guys are doing down there, but I know you’re doing a great job.” Then he collapsed right back to sleep and we resumed.
I took part of my lunch break to go see the patient. He had no memory of waking up, or even who I was. D***s are weird.
Anaesthetic assistant here.
We had a guy who had a decent premed due to nerves. The d**g used works kinda like alcohol in that it lowers inhibitions and relaxes you. Generally people just get a bit sleepy and chill but the odd person ends up talking up a storm about whatever was on their mind at the time.
So this guy looks around and asks “do you guys have a p***s chart?”
I’m like “whaaaa?” we aren’t working in urology today.
He clarifies “you know where you rank and compare people’s p*****s after they’re asleep?”
Well, no we don’t. We don’t care and for most surgery it’s kept covered up.
However. In this case the patient needed a catheter placed because it was a long procedure. And. He. Was. Packing.
If I had a chart he would still be at the top. Second place wouldn’t even be close.
All of these are lighthearted so I hate to damper the mood but…
Once I had a patient tell me that during the procedure he would be watching us work from the upper corner of the room. I did not like this and told him that no, he would be on the table and that he was going to survive this procedure and I’d see him when it was over.
Well he survived that procedure but had to be brought back a few hours later for a redo and did not survive the night. Every time I was in that room I thought of him in the corner watching us work.
Not me, but my mom. Apparently she woke up from her surgery (double mastectomy), and took a finger to the collar of her hospital gown. She looked down, gave a loud guffaw followed by, “Oh s**t, what have I done?” Then she conked back out immediately after that. 😅
On a positive note, she’s been in remission for 13 years now, and she doesn’t have to worry about her b***s trying to k**l her for a third time!
Me, being wheeled to the OR for elective surgery: “Hell yeah, let’s go!”
Me, returning for emergency surgery & recognizing the anesthesiologist from last time: “Round 2, let’s go!” after which I went in for a fist-bump. At least he didn’t leave me hanging.
After my appendectomy I was very insistent about immediately getting up to go pee and refused a catheter.
The nurse was very distressed about this, and followed me into the bathroom, but did not successfully dissuade me from my mission.
Apparently after they gave the adavan or whatever to relax for a colonsocopy the doctor pulled up the gown to begin and discovered that having chemical induced diarhea all night had made a hemorrhoid swell up really large. Doc says oh you got some hemorrhoid there and the reply was I BROUGHT YOU SOME BALLOONS.
Doesn’t really fit the question, but i woke up from wisdom teeth surgery and the first thing I remember was someone telling me not to eat hard foods for a while. Apparently I started signing (just spelling out the words) in ASL, asking if I could have yogurt. The tech said hold on, do that again. And then she said yes, I can have yogurt. I didn’t know i had retained that much when I learned the ASL alphabet when I was 10. I was 36 at the time of the surgery fwiw.
I’m not an anesthesiologist but the last time I was put under, just before I conked out, I sat bolt upright and asked everyone if they were baking cookies because I smelled cookies baking. They laughed and said, ‘no’, and then I conked out.
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