19 Secrets Kids Hide: What They Pretend to Understand but Actually Don’t
Children are more likely to bring us their biggest problems when we have shown them that we can calmly handle their smaller ones.
Children sometimes pretend to understand because they do not want to disappoint us, appear incapable, be embarrassed, or get in trouble.
They may nod when they are confused. They may say “okay” because they think they are supposed to know. They may avoid asking for help because they are worried an adult will respond, “I already explained this.”
They may not even speak up for fear that they will say the wrong thing and be judged.
“You weren’t listening. You should know this by now.”
When adults respond to questions and mistakes with curiosity rather than criticism, children become more willing to admit confusion and genuinely learn.
Try asking, “Would you like me to explain that another way?”
“Do you want me to show you the first step?”
“What part feels confusing?”
The safest learning environment is not one where children never make mistakes. It is one where children are not afraid to make them.
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